We had another ultrasound yesterday. As expected, we saw nothing new. Still just that black, empty circle of a gestational sac. The doctor said that a miscarriage is almost guaranteed and it would be a miracle if that was not the outcome. I am going to have one last ultrasound this coming Friday as a final confirmation before I have a D&C scheduled. There is a small chance I could pass it on my own this week.
We asked a lot of questions. The one we were most worried about is how long we would have to wait to start the next round of treatment. He thought that we would probably be able to start when I got my first cycle back. This is something I need to confirm with my regular doctor who was out this week. But if that's the case, we are happy with it. We had feared we might have to wait up to 3 cycles.
I also asked if this could be caused by diminished ovarian reserve and he did not want to jump to that conclusion yet. He did say that DOR patients have a higher risk of miscarriage, infertility, and down's syndrome. But my levels aren't terribly high so hopefully this was just a random miscarriage that was unrelated to any of my problems. That is how he would categorize it for now. We will just have to wait and see if the next pregnancy (assuming there is one) results in miscarriage or a healthy baby.
I am very ready to be done with this and move on. I am tired of having these fake pregnancy symptoms. I was terribly sick Monday and Tuesday evenings this week - nauseous, headache, and vomiting. And overall I am just feeling nauseous and tired almost around the clock. And while I know it is worth the payoff to take all the medications I have had to take for what seems like FOREVER, I am getting really tired of it and just want my baby so I can be done.
One thing I have had to keep reminding myself is that it is all in God's hands. Whatever His plan is, that's what is going to happen. I need to just learn to be content with that, and sometimes I get to that point. But often times I get impatient and want to know NOW whether we are wasting time and effort with treatment or if it will pay off with a healthy baby.
1 comment:
I'm so bummed everything happened this way. I'm glad that you can try again after 1 cycle. I cant imagine having all the symptoms and knowing that there is a very slim chance anything will change from this point. Glad you are encouraged that it's His plan, it's so hard to do that sometimes. Really hope things work out soon.
Post a Comment