Is it crazy that I don't even want to take the pregnancy test? Most women can't wait until the 2 week wait is over but I am not that anxious. I don't want to know either way. Maybe I should get that kind that says "error" or "inconclusive" and hope for that again. The only part of me that wants to know is so that if I am not pregnant I can stop taking the progesterone.
I am going to be scared and disappointed if it is negative because I don't know if this will ever really happen or what we will do and how much it could cost and whether we are making all the wrong choices spending money on this house and not for our baby to come to us. After all, we are thinking of paying for this out of pocket for a while and then trying some sort of adoption. There are so many unknowns. And if it's positive I am just going to be scared of having another miscarriage or an unhealthy baby, like super paranoid scared and nervous which is not my personality type at all and would probably be pretty unhealthy for me and whoever would be inside me. But I was pretty terrified with Ky-man too so I guess anything could happen.
But I know somebody else who is dying for me to pee on that stick and I would do pretty much anything for him. I just wish I could do this one thing that would make him such a proud daddy all over again. *tear*
3 comments:
I bet the unknowns are killing you. Praying for a positive!
It's all in God's hands, Cindy. He has a plan...we just don't know what that plan is. Hang in there and pray about it. Bret will always be there for you regardless what you decide to do.
Love,
Aunt Sandy
Hoping for a positive :)
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